See, I love my family. I mean, who doesn't love their family, right? I'm passionate for mine. I feel like this is my job, my mission, to be a mom and to be a wife. Sure, I have other passions I'd like to pursue one day, but I'm perfectly content with those titles defining me if nothing else ever does. It makes my heart happy, it's why I wake up in the morning. My family.
I'm not the perfect mom, and trust me, no where near the perfect wife, but then, I don't try to be. I try to be what my kids need, what my husband needs, what God wants from me in those departments. I try to give as much of myself to them as I can on a daily basis, and I find great reward in that. Some people say that what I do requires a medal, or a title, or what have you...
I dont think so.
I don't want anyone to look at me and think I've got it all figured out. I don't. I don't want anyone to think that I'm this woman with a million talents that runs off caffeine and creativity to go above and beyond, I don't. I'm selfish, a lot. I half ass things, a lot. I get lazy, a lot. I get tired, every day. I order pizza, I let the laundry get out of control, I let the dishes pile up in the sink.
Anyways, I'm getting off base here. I'm not quite sure where I want to go with this, so apologies for scattered thoughts.
My main purpose is to remind you to stop. Stop, and look around. Realize and remember this; 5 minutes from now is NOT promised. We are not guaranteed to make it to tomorrow. Love your children NOW, encourage your husband NOW, pay attention NOW. All we have is the present. It's all we have.
I learned something from my recent experience; I don't want regrets. I know, like I said, I'm not perfect, I'm only human, and I can't expect perfection out of myself. I looked back after this happened and thought,'wow'. Look at all that time I wasted, look at all those moments I threw away in frustration, anger, laziness, etc.
I think as parents, but as moms especially, we can get lost in the routine of every day. Getting done what needs to be done and then starting all over again the next day. I know I'm guilty of it. It's easy for us to assume that we are all powerful and in control and that the next 5 minutes are promised.
They aren't.
You can do everything in your power to ensure the health, safety, and happiness of those around you. You can meticulously analyze every possible situation that could bring about sickness, harm, or distress. It doesn't matter. At the end of it all we have to realize we are not in control. Trust me, I get how absolutely impossible that sounds. We're talking about the control freak of all control freaks here, me. It's a scary truth we need to swallow in order to stop wasting that time worrying and planning, and use that moment to BE in the moment. To conjure patience, to find strength, to find...time.
Who's guilty of sending there kids to the playroom, outside, to their rooms, ect for 5 minutes of sanity? <----- I am.
Will I still do this? Okay, I'm all about honesty here, you bet your boots I will. STILL, I promise, I won't do it as often. I PROMISE, I'll think EVERY time; "is this important?", "Can I find patience for them?", "Can I give 5 minutes right now?"
Start saying 'yes' more and 'no' less. Stop yelling and start listening. Forget what it means to be an adult for 5 minutes and get silly. Stop thinking about how tired you are and that a game of hide and seek is no where in your mental capacity right now, but think about how important my 5 year old wants those 10 minutes with me. Little things. Things we convince ourselves not to feel guilty about, because those are the things. Those are the things we'd look back at and say "why didn't I?"
Im going to plan those camping trips, instead of realizing how crazy and hectic it will be and deciding I'd rather have organized quiet time at home. I'm going to volunteer to be room mom, I'm going to do play dates, and the birthday party thing; even if I absolute cannot stand to be social. I'm going to go to that promotion ceremony, put on my best most proud face for that awards dinner at my husbands work. I'm going to listen more, love more, LIVE...more.
And not just because my family deserves that from me, but because I deserve that. That's what we all want, what we all deserve, I know that. Sometimes it's easy to forget that. Once we make a habit of forgetting how important RIGHT NOW is, it's harder and harder to get that back.
So I'm here, semi sharing. Telling you to remember that tomorrow isn't promised, we aren't in control, we can't be perfection.
This isn't to say we aren't doing a good job. This isn't to say we aren't giving enough, we don't have to be enough. This isn't to say we're doing anything wrong either. I'm saying the world gets in the way, the craziness. The TV shows, the school functions, the sporting events. If you can juggle it all...teach me. Remember what's important, the show will be there 5 minutes from now, that IS promised. Our kids, our husband, our family...that's not. We don't know when things will go crazy, we don't know when we'll be pulled apart, we don't know when or what or how anything at any time could happen to anyone. We don't. We can plan it and think it and say it, but we can't control it. So control what you can control and relish in what you cannot. Live in it, love in it, BE in it. The moment, the smile, the messes, the missed appointments, the everything. BE IN IT. BE THERE.
Maybe this will fade. I'm sure it will, actually. I know right now I'm treasuring every second and I'm sure, the world will hit again, routine will hit again, normalcy will hit again. I know somewhere along the line it will get lost again. Not completely, but it will. I'm not perfect, right?
For now, it's on. I'm taking this reality check as a challenge and accepting it with all of my might, all of my patience, all of myself.
It's so easy today, in the society that has shaped us, to fall into a place where family does not come first. I implore you to fight that. All we have are the ones we love. Our children, they are ALL we leave behind. Not our careers, or our money, or even our legacy. Our children ARE our legacy, they are the only pieces of us that remain once we're gone. Our love, our marriage, our relationships, they can last beyond us. They can be a testimonial to those around you. They can be memories for your children, and for our childrens children.
My mom once told me "Raising kids and staying married is the two hardest things you'll ever have to do in life." Of course, she was right. Never heard words that rang more true. Nothing good comes easy. Marriage is hard, hard, tedious work. It tests us, bends us, changes us. Raising kids is hard, hard, tedious work. It's never ending, it requires more patience than possible at times, and it makes us question our ability to parent on a daily basis.
Let's not get lost in the easiness. Let's not forget that hard work is the best work. Its not easy, it's not supposed to be. Don't let anything else convince you otherwise, because it's a lie. It's worth it. The hard work, the sleep deprivation, the tears, the anger, the whatever the heck it is; it's worth it. We're supposed to change, we're supposed to grow, we're supposed to adjust and mold.
Be courageous.
Those are my words for you, that is my point, my message. Be courageous. Be loyal. Be true. LIVE. Give more of yourself than you think there is to give and expect nothing back. Fall in love with your children and stop over analyzing them, and damnit, don't let anyone else over analyze them either. Remember, we're not perfect, and neither are they. Love them for who they are and for who they aren't. Focus on family, and try, try hard not to let that get lost.
